Article Summary By Michael Estlack, Director of Connectivity
While the definition of sex differs from person to person, it often causes uneasiness in most who chose to talk about it. Whether the sexual acts are for pure gratification or for connecting on a deeper level, sex is an important aspect to many of our lives.
According to an article in psychologytomorrowmagazine.com, “Sex creates a moment of extreme intensity in which our entire inner life – our history and imagination, is expressed in actions. It is state of consciousness in which the past and the present, body, mind and spirit, all merge to form a new reality unlike any other experience in our lives.”
Because of this, sex is a look into our deepest, inner self. Sexual desires manifest themselves from past experiences, sometimes stemming from childhood. We are conditioned animals, so it’s no coincidence that our sexual desires come from previous experiences.
This article also touches on unmet needs or conflicts in our childhood and how it affects our current sexual desires. It claims that since we are driven to self-healing, we often reconcile these unmet needs or conflicts from childhood through later sexual desires. It, however, requires us to be authentic with what we want out of a sexual partner. Through unifying our “emotions, our physical being, thoughts, and spirit”, we can find ourselves aligning with our true selves in a sexual environment.
What if we deny these inner sexual desires?
It can lead to truly missing out on great sex. We may simply look for partners we lust after or those who happen to be convenient in our surroundings. We may truly never experience the pureness and wholeness that sex has to offer.
Want better sex? Let our sexperts at SHAW Center for Healing help you up your erotic intelligence. Our sex-positive approach to sexual healing is designed to inspire you and/or your partner develop hot, healthy sexual intimacy.
To read the full article, check it out here:
Article Summary By Michael Estlack, Director of Connectivity
Time Magazine reports that pornography is everywhere. With the advent of the Internet, we now have unlimited access to any form of sexually explicit material we desire, 24 hours a day. Pornhub, a popular explicit-video-sharing site, reported in 2015 having 2.4 million visitors per hour alone. In 2016, Pornhub reported that users watched 92 billion videos in 23 billion total site visits where 4.6 billion hours of porn were consumed.
"To break it down really quickly, in order to deliver that volume of free porn, our servers streamed 99 Gigabytes of data every second. To help put this into perspective, try to picture the size of a 16GB USB stick. Now imagine 194 million USB sticks, spanning 11,000km (6800 miles) from end to end; or around the entire circumference of the moon," states Pornhub's report.
This is a feat we should be proud of, right? Well, maybe not just yet…
While the insane variety and amount of porn increases, so do the rates of erectile dysfunction (ED) in the male population. According the U.S. National Institutes of Health, 5% of men at the age of 40 experienced erectile dysfunction in 1992. However, in a study by the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 26% of adult men just under 40 experienced erectile dysfunction in 2013, a substantial increase from the 1992 report.
Is porn the culprit for this increase in ED?
Porn-induced erectile dysfunction, or PIED, is becoming more and more of a real possibility for habitual porn users. Because pornography lights up the brain with dopamine, a central component in the brain’s reward system, one can find that their brain quickly associates a pleasurable time with sexually explicit material.
Pornography offers quick gratification in large quantities for every possible fetish imaginable. This results in sustained high levels of brain activation during its use. Gary Wilson, author of Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction, argues, “The result in some Internet porn users is higher brain activation to internet porn, and less arousal to sex with a real person”. This statement is backed by the many who report problems with PIED.
Gabe Deem, a male plagued with PIED states, "I got with a gorgeous girl and we went to have sex and my body had no response at all." Many others also claim this disconnect between the levels of attraction they feel towards a partner and their subsequent bodily responses.
Is there a solution?
Many, including Deem, have stopped viewing porn altogether. "The reason I quit watching porn is to have more sex," says Deem. This task may be daunting to some and several forums and websites such as NoFap have surfaced in hopes to offer support to those experiencing PIED.
SHAW Center for Healing treats many women and men who self-report being "addicted to pornography." Our sex-positive approach to recovery offers our clients a chance to heal from the painful effects of pornography addiction and lead lives that are rich with emotional, physical, spiritual, and erotic intelligence.
Let our experts at SHAW Center for Healing guide you toward erotic intelligence and a happy, healthy sex life. Contact us today for a free 15-minute consultation.
To read Time Magazine's incredibly provocative article, it's now available for free here.
Blog review by Michael Estlack, Director of Connectivity
In his latest book entitled, "Out of the Doghouse: A step-by-step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men caught Cheating," international sexual health expert Rob Weiss explains that cheating on one’s spouse can come in many different forms. Whether its watching porn or having actual intercourse, these rules are usually defined within the relationship early on. While these cheating rules may be clear, many are confused as to why men cheat in the first place.
Often, therapists find that men place blame on outside reasons, but what are the real, underlying reasons for cheating?
According to Weiss, one major contributing reason comes in the form of insecurity. These men may not feel they are good enough and have enough going for them so they seek outside validation from other woman. Entitlement also plays a role, says Weiss. These men may be feeling as if they deserve this external release. A third reason might just be pure selfishness, which most probably already considered as a reason in the first place. Cheating men may simply be only concerned with themselves and their desires, leaving their vows behind in pursuit of sexual release.
"For most men, there is no single factor driving the decision to cheat," says Weiss. "And sometimes a man’s reasons for cheating evolve over time as his life circumstances change. Regardless of a man’s reasons for cheating, he needs to understand that he didn’t have to do it. There are always other options—couple’s therapy, taking up golf, being open and honest and working to improve the relationship, even separation and/or divorce. All of these are choices that don’t involve degrading and potentially ruining one’s integrity and sense of self."
Infidelity does not have to destroy your relationship. Heal from infidelity, restore trust, and find freedom. Contact our sexual health experts at SHAW Center for Healing today to begin your journey.
Read Rob Weiss's full blog post here:
Article Summary by Michael Estlack, Director of Connectivity
Societal norms often indicate that pornography and the possible addiction one might experience from frequent viewing is solely a problem for males. A recent article reports that an estimated 1 in 3 viewers on pornographic sites are actually female and the repercussions from habitual viewing are just as real for them as they are for their male counterparts. Because society generally doesn't believe that pornography addiction can happen to women, the stigma women experience is reported to be stronger for them causing them to stay silent and in the shadows with their problem. However, as more and more woman come forward with their stories, more and more women are finding that they are not alone and that help is available.
With frequent viewing of pornographic scenes, we condition are brains to link a feel good neurotransmitter called dopamine with the activity. Hence the reason women are just as susceptible to the addictive nature of this activity. In fact, because woman experience less recuperation time between orgasms, they report going on frequent "porn binges". Women who struggle with this addiction report high amounts of shame and guilt because they feel so alone, afraid, and isolated.
If you are a woman who struggles with pornography, please know that you are not alone. Let our experts at SHAW Center for Healing guide you on your journey toward Sexual Health & Wellness.
For more information, please visit: http://www.iol.co.za/lifestyle/love-sex/sex/why-young-women-are-more-likely-to-get-addicted-to-porn-9623013
Article Review by Michael Estlack, Director of Connectivity
With our current trend of disassociating sexual gratification from love, intimacy and physical connection, we find a rise in "pornosexuality". This newly adapted term refers to someone who solely links his or her sexuality to porn. While porn reached consumers through only 90 porn magazines before the birth of the Internet, we now see websites such as “Pornhub” claiming an average of 64 million viewers a day. This frequent pornography watching not only can become addictive in nature, but can also become a means for individuals to keep themselves safe from the possibility of rejection and the anxiety one might experience from intimate situations.
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